Team America: World Police

-Before you read this, please know that I am a German immigrant with college education in International Relations, Intelligence and National Security.-

Isolationism: (noun) A policy of remaining apart from the affairs or interests of other groups, especially the political affairs of other countries.

The United States had it made until WWI.
James Monroe birthed quite an idea when it came to foreign policy: Don't. His Monroe Doctrine states, in short, that the U.S. would keep their heads out of Europe and by no means participate in any wars they had managed to get into.
It worked well until those dirty Krauts started sinking "neutral" U.S. ships, which were only supplying arms to the British. C'mon, we weren't picking sides, right?
Then the Doctrine got thrown into the fire pit and all hell was broken loose against the Central Powers of Europe.

However, the U.S. dropped back after the Great War, and tried to retain it's isolationist ways.
Then the Japanese sneak attacked (horse shit, the intelligence community admitted to knowing about it hours in advance, there was a communication failure between D.C. and Hawaii. But I'll stick with "sneak attacked" to be politically correct..) Pearl Harbor, Roosevelt signed a few papers, and eventually the Axis powers fell.

Since WWII, the United States has had it's nose in just about everything. These are just dealing with our military powers since post- WWII to now:
Korea, USSR, Cuba, Lebanon, Brazil, Guatemala, Indonesia, Dominican Republic, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Nicaragua, Iran, Slovenia, Granada, Panama, Iraq, Afghanistan again, and Cuba again.
And all that is JUST where our military has sent over 5,000 troops to.
Soon we're going to have to deal with the shitstorm that's brewing in China.. take a look at SinoDefence and tell me that's not scary.

The U.S. has over 17 different Intelligence Agencies, some government-run, some private, that burn through $80 Billion a year just to find out what our bearing is in comparison to the rest of the world.
In reality, and I know this because a professor of mine who is ex-CIA intel told me, our Intelligence knows just as much as CNN does, but maybe a few hours early. I understand those few hours could be extremely important, but all that money for something I can watch on national television?

Our being the 911 Operator for the Planet and trying to help everyone, from Africa to Haiti, is going to be the end of us. We create more and more enemies daily just because of our snobbish actions, thinking we have the right to be in everyones business.

"How was your morning? What'd you eat? Where did you buy it? Does your wife eat it? How old is your wife? Do you still have sex with her? When was the last time you had sex with her? How was it? Can we help make it better? ..no don't answer that, we'll be there next time and bring you guys lube. We'll stay and watch too, to make sure it's better."
..how annoying is that?

Call me old-fashioned, but I feel like I'd get along pretty well with James Monroe if he were alive. And even if he were alive, he'd have a seizure when he figured out what the U.S. has turned into..
Team America: World Police.